So...in the past year and a bit I seem to be losing my best friend...I'm not really sure whats happening, maybe it's just that we're growing apart, as our lives are very different...especially since she moved away. Well...now she is back and things are just well...awkward? lonely? I don't even know...but I miss the old us. Anyways...this is just kind of a rant/open letter to her...chances that I will ever send it are probably slim to none...but at least I wrote it!
We've been through a lot together in the last 9 years. We've gone from riding around in strange cars with boys we kind of knew to marrying strange boys we picked up at pub ;)....but...and theres always a but....things have changed between us. I miss the friendship we used to have. It feels like over the last year that I am losing you...us. It's easy to pretend that I don't care and that things will get better, because lets face it...with us, they usually do, but this time feels different. It doesn't feel like the other times this time, this time feels more permanent and although I really hope it isn't, I still have that nagging feeling. You have been back for a couple of months now and have only made the effort to see me twice and one of those times you barely said shit all to me all night long. I message you and ask you if you can let me know when you are free so that we can get together and you ignore my messages for a day or longer and then message me back, when I know you read them right away (that little 'R' in bbm means read btw). You tell me you will let me know days and times and NEVER do...or come up with these total last minute ideas and expect me to just come. I know that you make way more time for your other friends and yea I'll admit it...I'm jealous...what makes them more important than me? What do they do to make you commit to something when you can't commit to a fucking dinner or a drink with me? It drives me crazy...I hate being the only one of us who seems to care...you tell me that you miss me, but then fail to do anything to strengthen this weakening friendship. I feel like you barely even know me anymore...you have no idea what has gone on in my life since the wedding and it sucks...UGH...
This week I am going to make one last effort at getting together...I will initiate a get together...whether its dinner or a movie or whatever...heres hoping you take this opportunity to get to know me again...if not...then I guess its goodbye and goodluck
Your Broken Hearted Friend