Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Here comes the bride....

So this past long weekend was spent mostly in dad got remarried! Exciting right?...well not so much. I honestly didn't have any feelings about the whole thing going into this weekend, I'm not the bride's biggest fan, which has never been a secret, but I really was just going to be there for my dad. By the end of the weekend I was so emotionally drained that I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for a week.

Everything went well for the first portion of the day...we left for Ottawa on Saturday morning and we arrived in Ottawa around 1pm and stopped by a pub for some lunch. We checked into the hotel around 2pm and started getting ready for the wedding. The wedding started at 4:30pm, the ceremony was first, followed by the reception. Dinner was good, the food was better than expected...but then came the speeches! This is the part where things started to go down hill. It's a known fact in my family that my dad was unfaithful to my mom, which is part of why I'm not a fan of the bride, what I found out during speeches was actually how long the whole relationship was carried on for...which was like a slap across the face. People on the bride's side decided to make impromptu speeches thanking my dad for being such a great second dad to them....slap across the face's nice to hear that all these people had such a great second dad when I grew up without a first one.

I know that these speeches were not meant to hurt me or my sister in any way...but the fact of the matter is that they did. They hurt a lot to hear. I'm a pretty strong person for what I have gone through growing up and I think I thought I was over everything...but after Saturday night, I've learned that I'm not. I wish that I had had a father growing up...someone who wanted to be a part of my life and who wanted to know me. It hurts to know that while my dad wasn't getting to know me or spending time being part of my life...he was busy being part of someone elses and being a father to them
At the end of the night my dad approached me and apologized for the hurt that the night had inadvertently caused and made me a bunch of promises that I am not quite ready to share...mostly because I question whether or not he will actually keep the promises that were uttered that night. I'm the person that wants to believe the best in everyone will shine I'm going to give him the opportunity to follow through on his promises and uphold what he told me that night...but the pessimistic side of me is telling me not to hold my breath.

Anyways...I just needed to vent about the's over...time to move on :)

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