What A Day....

Ughhh...one of those posts where I just need to let out a huge *sigh*

It was seriously just one of those days today. It was supposed to be a fun and happy day but it all just went downhill fast and didn't get any better as the day went on.  Oh well I guess...for every bad day there will be a better one...right!?

It just kinda sucks that the day ended crappy on my "Friday" of the week.


ANYWAYSSSS....I still have to do the Peanut's Birthday Recap and 12 month update....I can't believe I have a one year old!!  Promise my next post will be a happier one :)

1 week...

...is all that is left of my mat. leave.  After next week I start the journey of being a working mom.  I'm excited and scared all at the same time!  Next week we have our trial runs at my cousin's house before I return to work...just to get C used to the idea of being with someone else. 

I'm kind of surprised that I'm not feeling as anxious as I thought I would.  It might be because...if I really truly admit it to myself...I kind of want to be back at work....OR....the anxiety attacks just haven't kicked in yet...one or the other!

I plan to do a little bit of back to work shopping next week while I have some alone time and C is at my cousin's house....get myself some pick me up back to work outfits :)

Not a long post...just a kind of had to get it out post...

...until next time!

A Whole Week Without It!

I'm kind of a fast food junky.  If someone offers me a cheeseburger....I take it!  French Fries? Sure why not!!  I just love my fast food...as terrible as it is for me.  This year for Lent, I decided I would give up fast food...time to break the habit and I figured why not now?  Today is going on day 10 without having any fast food at all.  I haven't even really craved it, which is totally not like me.  I've even been surprisingly good with taking out food for dinner, which I think has been the key to my success so far!  I just wanted to have a quick celebration of my success so far...I'm proud of me :)

Back to Work Anxiety

I've noticed a couple of other bloggers link back to this blog as inspiration for their latest blog posts....and I checked it out and have been inspired to write about what has been on my mind lately. 

You can check out the blog here.

In exciting news...Cole is going to be a year old in 3 more weeks...which means that I will be returning to work in 3 more weeks.  His first birthday is bittersweet.  I'm so excited to throw his party and celebrate with all of our family and friends, but I am really anxious about going back to work and leaving him.  I have spent the last 11 months and some odd days not even thinking about work, just enjoying my time off on mat. leave.  Now the time has come to start prepping for the big return and to be completely honest...it is overwhelming.  I KNOW that everything is going to just fine.  It will be nice to be back at work, to have adult interaction on a daily basis.  It is just hard....hard to think about not spending everyday with my little man, hard to think about being away from him for 8+ hours a day, hard to think about someone else teaching him things.  I get that I am lucky to have had the last year off work...believe me, it is not something I have taken for granted...I can't imagine having to return to work when my little one is only a few weeks old...but that being said, it still won't be easy. 

Sometimes, when I think about it, I just want to cry.  I haven't talked to Mike about my anxiety because I feel like he will just think it is silly...and it kind of is.  I guess in the reality of it all...another maternity leave is just around the corner, as we plan to start TTC #2 later this year.  There will be another year off with Little Man and baby #2 when that day comes...and if all works out I may become a somewhat stay-at-home mom after the second baby....well open up a home daycare, which will allow me to be home with our children while looking after a few others as well. 

Well....I guess I am done my little pity party!  I'm glad I got to get that out :)

11 Month Update

I'm a couple days late, but I'm having a hard time getting an 11 month picture!

Age: 11 months

Date of Appt.: no appointment this month
Weight: 23.2lbs
Height: 30 inches
Sleeping Patterns: You take one nap during the day for about 2 hours (if Mommy is lucky) and you have been sleeping about 12 hours at night  
Eating Patterns: You are still a great eater....you pretty much eat anything that I put in front of you, which makes me one very happy Mom!!
Anything You'd Like to Add?: You are up to 8 teeth now (all four front teeth on both the top and bottom) and your molars are starting to cut through on the top.  You are walking all over the place and are getting much better at it....you are nowhere near as wobbly as you were last month.  You have started signing more while eating when you want more to eat....and your sign for all done is to grab both sides of your head lol...not sure how that came to be!  We are gearing up for your First birthday...can't believe it is only a month away, it feels like just yesterday we were at the hospital waiting for you to arrive!  You love to play by yourself...I often find you by the toy shelf flipping through your books by yourself, I hope you grow up to enjoy reading as much as I do.

Labels

I was watching T.V. this week when I heard a quote that has kind of stuck with me since hearing it....I don't remember EXACTLY how the quote went...but it went something along the lines of...

"The important thing to remember about labels, is that they only matter if they stick." (Good Luck Charlie...yes you read that right :-P)

It got me thinking about all of the labels that have been placed on me over the years...growing up I was given many labels, even now I still have many labels.  Some of these labels I have embraced and made part of who I am....and other labels I have ripped off and refused to let them define me.

Some labels I had growing up included:

• Quiet
• Smart
• Goody Two Shoes - this is something my sisters always called me, they hated that I always appeared to be the "good child" and were mean to me about it growing up....little did they know there were lots of things I did that weren't too "goody two shoes"esque....I just didn't get caught.  It bothered me that they called me this, but I knew they didn't REALLY know me so they just judged me for what they could see
•  Sister - as a child, I can honestly say I wasn't the best sister.  My sisters and I never got along.  We fought ALL THE TIME.  The only good thing I did was try to leave a good example...and not rat my sisters out when they did something wrong....I always hated when they would rat me out.
• Daughter - I honestly tried to be the best daughter I could be growing up.  I looked up to my mom and tried to help her out as much as possible.  It is the role of being a daughter that has taught me a lot about how to be a good Mom.
• Granddaughter
• Student
• Cool Kid - being a cool kid is probably what every child wants to be...and I was...for a while.  The cool kids turned their back on me towards the end of elementary school because apparently I was "stealing boyfriends"....now I never actually had a boyfriend until I was 16, so I don't know what they were talking about.  Being a cool kid made me feel so good...becoming an uncool kid made me feel crushed.
• Nerd
• Loser - so after my reign as cool kid, came my reign as cool Loser.  After I got kicked out of the cool kid club, my so called friends started bullying me and I had to make new friends quickly.  It crushed me to be considered a loser and I actually went into a depression at 13....I didn't go to school for two weeks and never told anyone why...I played the "sick" card at home for as long as I could.  I dealt with this for the next two years....felt sick to my stomach going to school everyday for almost two years....but I survived...and it did get better!
• Girlfriend- I had a couple of boyfriends in my younger days....and I learned a lot from them.  I learned what I didn't want...and what I did want in a relationship.  I had one other long term relationship before meeting my husband....it was a great relationship, we had a lot of good times, but in the end it really just wasn't meant to be and we crashed and burned.  That experience made me who I am today in a relationship though, so I won't ever forget it.
• Child from a "Broken Home" - I honestly never thought my parents would be the ones to get divorced...it was something that just wouldn't happen to me, until it did.  To be honest, my Dad was never around growing up since he worked pipeline, which often took him away from home for work.  It still hurt like hell when he walked out on us though....I'm still dealing with emotions from it and it is almost 15 years later now.  I learned what I want in a partner and Father for my children and what I was willing to put up with in a relationship.  I also had to grow up fast....my mom needed someone to help her (even though she never once asked for help) and I knew that person had to be me. 

Some labels I have now as an adult:

•  Sister - My adult role of sister has changed a lot from my childhood role.  My sisters and I now get along and have gotten a lot closer over the years.  I'm at a much different point in my life than my sisters are so sometimes it can be hard for them to relate to me, but they know I'm always there for them.
• Daughter
• Mother - this is probably my favourite label.  I enjoy being a mother SO much and I wouldn't trade it for the world.  It is one of the hardest and most challenging jobs I have ever had in my life....but it is so rewarding.  I truly hope that I do a great job as a mother and raise loving, intelligent, caring and respectable children.
• Wife - another job I enjoy.  I have found a great partner to live my life with and look forward to our future together.
• Employee
• Boss
• Friend - I think of myself as a good friend....I just find that the older I get the harder it is to keep those people close.  I get that life changes, people move on and grow up....it just kind of sucks when it happens to you.  I try to make a point of making appointments with my friends for dinner or just to hang out...but I find even that doesn't always get us together anymore.
• Level Headed
• Determined
• Woman
• Adult

What are some of the labels you, yourself have?  How have they impacted you and shaped the person you are today?

The War Against Decluttering...an Update

So a couple of weeks ago I posted that I was going to start decluttering my house, it was time to purge myself of all the belongings I no longer needed!  Well, it went well for about a week and then life seemed to side track me, which is what always seems to happen when cleaning is involved :)

Don't get me wrong though....in that week I actually did more than one decluttering task a day...so realistically I am probably still on track to where I should be and I made a lot of headway in the fight to declutter.  I ended up doing my closet, dresser, bathroom and office anddddd some of one of the rooms in the basement. I took a bunch of the items I no longer wanted and listed them on yardsale groups on Facebook, which has given me quite a bit of pocket change over the last couple of weeks!  I still have a few things that haven't sold hanging around, which I will hopefully get rid of in the next little while.  I also intend to pick up the fight in the next couple of days now that things have calmed down a bit.  I need to buy a bunch of bins so I can organize as I go as well....lots of baby clothes to pack away and under the stairs needs to be tidied!

As for the rest of my life....it's been busy but going well.  Still in the process of pulling things together for little Man's First Birthday party....invites go out in the next few days, now I just need to pick up some of the basic supplies (streamers, party games, loot bags, plates and other items).  We are also in the process of slightly renovating our whole downstairs...which involves painting our 18ft high foyer and all of the halls upstairs and downstairs, as well as laying new floors in the entire downstairs...which hubby wants to have done before Little Man's First birthday. 

Wellll....until next time...I hope everyone is doing well :)